So this is going to be controversial but it has been something me and my homegirls have talked often about.

Why is it that when a single woman deals with a married man , the woman is deemed the home wrecker?  Isn’t he the home wrecker?  He’s the married one, what’s he doing out hollering at broads?  And let me be clear I am not condoning having an affair with someone or infidelity, I’m just asking the question.  You could not know that the person is married and fall for him and then find out.  Then what, you gotta drop this dude that has courted you for weeks cause HE IS MARRIED?  Is it the single woman’s fault for his wandering eyes?  I don’t think so.

I need to be clear I am talking about the woman who is approached by a married man, not the women that go out looking for them.  There is a big difference in my eyes.  When you go out looking for them, then you are a home wrecker.  But if you meet this gentleman because he reached out to you I think the thought blame has to change.  I had a friend tell me she was judging another when she mentioned she was dealing with a married dude.  A year later she was in the same position because of circumstances out of her control, and was caught up.  The single woman bears all the guilt in any affair and that’s because it’s the societal norm that if a man cheats it must be the woman’s fault.

I did a mini poll of my friends and found that all of them had been hollered at by married men.  Some said on the regular it happens to them and another stated it was too many times to count.  And then I asked the nosy question of what did you do once they hollered and you knew they were married.  All of them said they told him to kick rocks.  But when he hollered and then later on after his courting they found out he was married???  50% of them said I kept on with the relationship because at that point they liked him, they were wooed.  There were others in my survey who may have shared their “cake cake cake” early on that said they were fine with it because they put ole boy in a box.

A box is exactly the thing that is necessary to ensure you aren’t a home-wrecking hussy.  If you do decide to deal with a married dude please don’t consider him a boo.  He’s not your boo, he’s your jump off and you are his side piece.  Let’s keep it real broads, you are NOT in a relationship with this man.  And if he starts talking couple-y talk, put him in his place, as soon as you don’t, in my opinion you my friend, are a home-wrecking hussy.

Now to all my married females out there that are probably going to get angry with me off of this one, please take a step back and think about who should be to blame here.  I stand by my original comment, if a married man pursues the girl, it ain’t her fault (say using Master P’s voice).  He’s the one in the wrong.  Personally I think it’s unfair to expect all single women to be the conscience of married men and to bear all of the guilt.  Besides sometimes we are looking for jump-offs too.

Discuss.  Do you agree?